I understand you may be going through an identity crisis. It happens to all of us. You're getting older-- I get it. You have to appeal to a young, hip audience to maintain your relevance in the mainstream. Of course we can all understand that. But christ on a cracker, what in the name of electroschock therapy are you doing with your hair?
You're a grown man now, with a family, not a 13 year old emo kid.
You are not Dr. Frankfurter, and no, his look cannot be updated for the new millenium.
You are not in The Cure. You're in a band that used to play pretty good pop-rock music, remember?
Combining Sid Vicious' hair with the wardrobe of a 40 year old who scams on 21 year old girls at night clubs does not give you a slightly updated retro-punk look.
Now, I realize this was all because you were just trying to cover up this terrible hair don't, but uh, two wrongs don't make a right, buddy.
I know you want to rectify this whole hair business as soon as possible to limit the number of photos of yourself that you will be cringing at in a matter of months, so I wanted to give an image to meditate on:
Can we please bring it back to the old school, at least a little? I'm not asking you to give up your acoustic guitar or radio friendly, I-make-deep-and-serious-grown-up-music-now-give-me-a-Grammy songs. I'm just asking that you not embarass yourself on the red carpet at those Grammys.
And hey, lose the tie. I mean really. Borrowing Avril Lavigne's circa 2004 style? You're killin' me.
Your hometown girl who's hoping you google yourself,
Lauren
When you slow to 3 miles an hour to make right turns when I am late to work, you make me want to eat my steering wheel.
