Please stop impregnating my friends. I think sex is great too, I really do. I just don't understand why you've all decided that 2008 is the year to 'forget' to pull out, or whatever it is you do for birth control. I mean really, you've all been having sex for awhile now, so I'm sure you know that your man fluids aren't supposed to make contact with our girly areas.
You've probably also figured out that you're a douchebag by now, but if you haven't, here's a clue. If you do any of the following:
-make her cry on a regular basis
-downplay her feelings and invalidate her experiences
-wake her up to yell at her
-fly into rages
-turn every argument back around on her
-only think of things as they apply to you and your feelings
-tell her she's gaining weight or point out her cellulite
-think women in general are irrational or irresponsible
-treat her disrespectfully in front of her friends, your friends, and especially your ex
-demand that you be the decider (a la our president) in everything
-make sure she's the one that has to deal with the fallout from those decisions when they go badly
-have a negative attitude about the majority of things she wants to do or finds enjoyable
-pressure her for sex she doesn't want to have
-refuse to take any responsibility for contraception
-or are generally a big jerkface
you are a douchebag.
Do the women of the world a favor and just go get the snip already. Please and thank you.
No love whatsoever-- in fact, a whole lot of animosity,
Lauren
1 comment:
Chad finally read your blog and after coming upon this post, laughed and said "hey, I never call you fat!" lol
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