Dear Single Women*,

You know how we chat on the phone and text back and forth during the day or get together for brunch on Sundays for a real life Sex and the City girl talk? Is it just me, or does it always come back to dating and guys and guys and dating and sex politics and does-he-like-me what-is-he-thinking? We're always giving each other advice on when to call and what to say and how to talk so we don't scare off male suitors. We are constantly trying to figure out how to be "good enough" so that guys want us.

To that I say BOOOOOOO. If you are being yourself, nay, if I am being myself (I need this pep talk too), and a guy doesn't like that, or is scared off or doesn't think I'm worth hanging around with, then he isn't good enough for me. And when it's you, girl, and he isn't calling or initiating time to hang out with you, or is giving you mixed signals like crazy, it is him that isn't good enough for you.

You cannot be any different than yourself to accept love or affection from someone else. You'll always know that it isn't really you he is into, it's the perception of you he has based on what you show him to make yourself seem desirable. Who wants that? I've been known to say, "You either like me or you don't," and I mean it, but in practice, it's hard. It's so easy to get attitude in your voice and say that, but it's hard to silence the voice inside your head that is saying, "Am I good enough? Did I say something wrong? Should I explain it then? If I do will I seem neurotic?"

We have got to do it, womenfolk, we have got to silence that voice and say, "Listen boys, you either like me the way I am or you just don't like me, and in that case, see ya." We are good enough. We are desirable with our quirks and vulnerabilities and so-called imperfections. If some guy you're seeing can't appreciate that without a bunch of game playing, he isn't the right guy for you. He fails, not you.

Call him when you want to talk to him. Text him when you want to text him. Let him know what you're thinking. If he can't handle that, it's because he is flawed, not you. Get love and affection for the quirky, wonderful person that you are.

Yours forever in sisterhood,
Lauren


*I truly apologize for blatant heterosexism in this post.